During a particularly unmemorable (which I guess wouldn't make it particular) hook-up with The Experience Junkie, he slapped my ass and said "Oh, you like that don't you." Well, up until he put on the faux-sultry voice to ask for my approval, I had. But once he arched his eyebrow into that expression that only Leonard Nimoy and The Rock dare take out of the bedroom, it was all I could do not to go into full sarcastic dirty talk mode.
Elvis was the
The most honest sounding man I've ever slept with was deaf. He moaned in a rhythm that would make a metronome jealous. He also never referred to me as his kin, or went into boring detail about what he did and didn't like. He could have, I was near fluent in ASL, but he felt it was better to communicate by eye contact and the occasional wrist grab when we weren't face to face. A simple squeeze on a pressure point is a much more concise way to point out that you not ready to be on the receiving end of a fuck than "Not yet, baby, why don't you polish my pearl a little more first." A statement, which, now that I think about it, should have been THE runner up of the worst thing anyone said to me in bed (or on the living room floor, in this case). I mean, that sort of makes sense in a hetero relationship, what with the similarities between cunt and clam (they both have four letter and start with a c), but a guy's asshole has nearly nothing in common with a clam. Unless, of course, he's been sitting naked on a beach somewhere, or he swallowed one of his mother's necklaces.
I often wonder where the lexicon of bad porn talk was born. I don't have much experience with pre-80's porn, and by then phrases like "Oh Daddy, fuck me harder, daddy, yes, I love it when you fuck me daddy" were pretty commonplace. Was there some boom of incest porn in the 70's that 80's pornographers were satirizing, or is there more than a fetish community's worth of people who like to imagine they're fucking their offspring? Personally, everytime I hear someone call me Daddy, I begin to calculate how much I'd owe their mother in back child support.
